What Chinese Mothers And Superior Western Fathers Have In Common

I'm sure that my readership of active, informed and concerned parents - and Asians - have read through Amy Chua's controversial article in the Wall Street Journal, Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, and they may have seen the response article in the New York Times with a title that loosely translates to Everyone Hates Amy Chua.

Through all the controversy and hubbub I see Amy as a kindred spirit joined with me by our willingness to offer up for public inspection our commitment to borderline parenting tactics. Amy and I have a lot in common - she is a Harvard and Harvard Law grad, and was editor of the Law Review; I am a college graduate with a blog. Her eldest daughter played at Carnegie Hall; my eldest daughter knows by heart the theme to Mickey Mouse Club House.

If you asked Amy how her daughter got to Carnegie Hall, she would say that she took a cab down Broadway and turned left on 7th because Amy is not funny and she would have come from the Upper West Side.

As an olive branch from a Western Parent, I want to point out an area where she and I agree. Amy offers that "children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences."

I agree mostly with this statement, and with some simple modification, like changing the word "work" to "do stuff I want them to do" and change "override their preference" to "con them" I would agree completely.

Amy continues the thought: "This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up."

I don't agree with Amy here. I believe that Western parents often get pretty good results without ever having to call on fortitude or ever giving up. We are probably just happier to lie to our kids.

That's the thing with poor old Amy, she is earnest, forthright, righteous, and heavy-handed, always teaching the lesson and getting it done by hard work. She takes the same straightforward approach of hard work and practice to parenting as she demands from her kids piano lessons.

I think if she was willing to have a little more fun with the whole thing, and employ a little more creativity, then she might have had similar results with less misery.